The secret powers of saying NO!

Every time we say yes to a request, we are also saying no to anything else we might accomplish with the time.

Just last week, our partner in the Dreaming In Sanskrit tour asked if we could cancel our fundraiser/dinner event for the India/Nepal. At first, I was totally against it, I mean, woah, we have ticket sales already and its been advertised all over the place, what would people think...

She told me to really look at the energy involved in setting up the event in the way we had planned which would have taken us an entire team of people and we might have even lost money trying to do a benefit dinner, it just wasn't worth the time and effort. Instead, we said no to the event and face my fear of what everyone would say.

I quickly got our email list together and sent the invitee's a note saying we had to cancel the event and to my surprise everyone totally understood.

And then suddenly, I felt this wave of calmness enter my body and I started to cancel a few more projects and commitments. I felt like crying, it was an entirely new feeling for me, I was being vulnerable and really feeling reality. Very good news.

The big thing was, I needed to listen to the flow of my own life. At times, we need to monitor our energy levels and other times we can go all out.

Life can and will give you more opportunities.

Opportunities are like waves in the ocean, they will keep coming, some are larger, some are smaller, regardless, you must catch the wave that is right for you at the right time. Timing is everything.

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Have you ever found yourself all too busy all too often lately?

Have certain projects, initiatives, commitments kept you behind your computer a little too long?

Do you feel stressed about the workload or projects you have on the go?

If so, you might have said YES to a few too many things and some of them you might want to revisit and say NO. I know what you are thinking, its like admitting to failure, and well I'm A personality type and I WILL get it done. It's ok to empty the cup, fail fast and move on.

You will be surprised at what other opportunities will arise when you say no and get really honest with yourself and your life.

One door closes, 10,000 doors open.

They say the goddess of opportunity loves action, and when the right one comes your way you must take action, and sometimes that action is to say no, not right now. We are not racing towards any finish line, we are not in no rush, the things you want to last forever in your life do not need to be rushed.

Saying no, allows you to have more time to be prepared for the opportunities that you really want in your life. 

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So check in, tune in, feel it, and have those hard communications with your friends, co-workers, husband, wife, girlfriend and let them know you need a little space in your life and perhaps you just need to say no.

Stop Hyperbolic discounting :-) 

What this means is that the present moment is exaggerated in our thoughts. When somebody asks, “Will you volunteer to do this workshop?” it is in the moment uncomfortable to refuse, even if it will save much more trouble later. To say “yes” is to warm ourselves in a brief glow of immediate gratitude, heedless of the later cost.

A psychological tactic to get around this problem is to try to feel the pain of “yes” immediately, rather than at some point to be specified later. If only we could feel instantly and viscerally our eventual annoyance at having to keep our promises, we might make fewer foolish promises in the first place.

One trick is to ask, “If I had to do this today, would I agree to it?” It’s not a bad rule of thumb, since any future commitment, no matter how far away it might be, will eventually become an imminent problem. Quote from ~Tim Hardford 

Saying No can help you establish integrity.

Integrity Is our lifeline to SELF LOVE

The big reason we need to say no more often is to be honest with ourselves, so we can slowly become more confident in ourselves. Knowing that when you do say yes, you will be able to complete your commitment. Once you begin to flex that integrity muscle more, you will feel endlessly more confident in your life and your self love simply grows. Trust is a solid foundation for all love and trusting ourselves is built by living our word.

Thanks for listening, if you have any comments or want to add to the conversation send me an email at robindra@itstimetobloom.com

Robindra

 

Life DesignRobin Mohar